I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
