Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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