I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
