chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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