I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
