i would punch a child for taco bell
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize