handjob tips. give me some.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize