you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
handjob tips. give me some.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
