I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He passed out mid-signature
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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