So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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