she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
