are you so shy because you have an std?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
OPIZZABONMYDICK
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
