once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
