nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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