halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Pants are for mortals
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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