Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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