driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
