No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize