all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
