Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
