GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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