So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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