I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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