What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i already hear my dad disowning me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think i got beer on your cat.
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