I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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