Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
