Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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