who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
