Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
