please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
