I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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