dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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