I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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