The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
