That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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