I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
