i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
