I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
