Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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