its not stalking. its research.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
