So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
