she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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