Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He passed out mid-signature
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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