So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
