pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
