I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
