He kissed a someone with a penis
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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