i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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