My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
