I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
