I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
sex in a hospital.. check
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
