pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
