fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize