WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
