So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
