I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
