I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
3pm strippers are depressing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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