i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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