I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Say something about gay babies.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
honey bunches of taint.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
