I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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