Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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