By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
