Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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