But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
