She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
