Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
