It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
