There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
