Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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