sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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