So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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