dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
