goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
