At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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