Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just want nice things and good sex
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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