good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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