My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
