He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
