Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize